The Difference Between Swingers And Sex Parties

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Our anonymous contributor offers more insight on the party scenes explaining the differences between swingers and sex parties and provides some useful links

I contributed an article to this site two years ago. There was a debate at the time about the sexual health risks at sex parties. My article was simply stating the facts/risks.


 Let's just differentiate between swinger parties and sex parties. Sex parties are where (overwhelmingly) guys pay to have sex with “professionals” in a party/club environment. The girls are a mix of escorts or porn stars or both. For many girls it's their full-time job and have families to support and bills to pay. Their sexual health is paramount – not just to stay healthy of course but with no sickness benefits there's no income.


With the proliferation of bareback parties in Germany Belgium (now illegal but still continuing) and the outing of pop-up bareback parties in the UK – there were additional risks. Every party host I know puts health and safety above everything else. No one will work with any girl (or customer) who attends a bareback party. The communication between party hosts in the UK is excellent – we have a large Whatsapp group of organisers nationwide where we pass information on about issues, problems, ideas and we help each other with advice and support. We organise parties to make money and give pleasure. We look after and respect the party girls – they bring in the customers – so their health (and our customers health) is the single most important thing. Far more important than money.


Occasionally we hear about girls who catch a minor sti and (in my experience) its all been handled very professionally. As far as I know – there's never been a (reported) case of Syphillis or HIV contracted through any (straight) sex parties in my party organising lifetime (12 years), But that doesn't mean we are complacent, we ensure there's plenty of top branded condoms, lubes plus all the other ephemera for comfort and cleanliness. We are also very vigilant at parties. Infact, I would go as far as saying that professionally organised sex parties are less risky (sexually) than swinger parties.


Every professional I work with is certed (usually monthly). Until recently the question of certs never came up at parties. In fact there was hardly ever a discussion about sexual health checks during a party – I suppose talk of “getting tested” puts a dampener on activities, I'm sure the guests “assumed” the girls were virus-free anyway.


Now let me make it clear at this stage – a large number of highly respected and famous porn stars get paid to attend sex parties. Many are international stars from Europe, Eastern Europe and further. They know the health risks! Sex parties are basically where fans and civilians can meet and live the fantasy with someone they've probably just seen on a website. A dream come true!


Last year I was asked in a party group chat to ensure all the girls working at my next party were certed. It surprised me as I “assumed” they would be anyway. It was a good question and got me thinking. Clearly health was the party girls number one concern. But this was the first time I saw the girls exchanging their certs, similar to a porn shoot.


I wondered how many guests could be certed for a party. So maybe I could do the UK's first fully certed sex party! The safest in the land! Most of my guests are regulars so I was fairly confident it would work. As always – intercourse would be covered and oral with/out at girls disgression. I can tell you now, my little dream never happened. The party went ahead and everyone had a great time. But trying to get ALL the guests booked in for the party certed was – I admit – impossible.


Some regulars told me they get tested regularly and even texted me latest info. Others said they are tested 2 or 3 times a year. Others told me about problems getting tested – didn't want info sent to phones or even emailed. Some had no idea what to do. These were just the ones who said they could attend the party. Many said they couldn't, but I believe some gave excuses because I was making certs compulsory for all. 


Without going into boring detail, I was being treated like a medical expert and it just became too much. I was guiding adult males how to go about getting their sexual health checked. It shocked me when two regulars said they couldn't remember the last time they were tested. Both have familes. Both play away a lot!


My experience of trying to “educate” members of the public was an eye-opener. The sex industry has to educate and also learn how to educate. I didn't realise how much ignorance there is out there regarding sexual health. The upside was that I (hopefully) pointed some customers in the right direction to maintaining a healthy sexual lifestyle. In a world ruled by Google no-one can say they don't know how to get tested.


It is essential that everyone gets a sexual health check-up at least annually. Unfortunately it's easy to see why civilians don't get tested – they think they don't show any symptoms; they don't have the time; the concern of attending an sti clinic; or they simply don't want to know the truth!


Self-test kits are available from the NHS: 

Plus good advice about self-testing.


The swinger lifestyle is huge and the sex party business is expanding fast. But ultimately, no matter how much encouragement and advice is given, it is the persons own responsibility to ensure their health is good. Physical, mental and sexual health all overlap. Let's ensure all three are as healthy as possible.


There is a huge crossover between Porn, Parties and Escorting. People who work in just one area should respect anyone not connected  with their own market.


We are all on the same side – the sex business.


There has to be mutual trust between all sex workers – we get enough shit thrown at us by the media and the government.


Let's all stay healthy, educate and support each other.


Useful links: